Thursday, 15 December 2011

Misunderstandings and A Lot of Whipped Cream

I just came back from my school's Carol Concert. I think have I have contracted hypothermia from sitting on a hard wooden pew in a gigantic stone building for two hour.
Now, though, I'm snuggled cosily in bed, listening to Taylor Swift's amazing new song on repeat, writing this blog and eating a whole can of whipped cream. 

If you were an avid 'Confessions of a Tea-Aholic' fan, you would be doing this as well, as I know many of you are, since it is Day 15 of my own special advent calendar, aka Eat A Whole Can Of Whipped Cream Day. I suggest you go buy a can of whipped cream, snuggle up and click play on this link below before you commence reading this blog.

I've had quite an interesting week. On Monday, I went to B&M bargains (classy, I know) to buy my secret Santa present for a friend. I thought that we were all buying joke presents for each other (I was wrong) but nevertheless trawled this vast warehouse of odd bits and bobs, including these magic straws that make normal milk turn chocolatey when you sip through them. 

If you were considering purchasing this ingenious idea, don't. I fell for this 39p bargain and was thoroughly disappointed when I sipped through the straw and tasted practically normal milk, with a hint of powdered processed chocolate. 

Then I came across the perfect gift for our set budget of a measly £3. It was a 'Santa's Little Helper' costume, complete with a tiny felt dress and long striped socks, that made some outfits witnessed on a Saturday Night in Porthcawl look like habits (which are nun's gowns, if you didn't know.)

As I was paying for said costume, I made a passing comment at the delightful checkout woman, telling her that it wasn't for me, it was a joke present for a friend. She looked at me and cheerfully chirped "I'm not judging, love!"

As you can probably imagine, I was mortified. As I desperately tried to convince her that I wasn't lying, she glanced up at me as she gave me my 1p change and said "Well, if you've got the body, I say flaunt it!"

I realised there was no chance that I would be able to convince this 50+ woman that I was not buying the lovely costume for myself, and so, clutching my practically see through B&M bag, I hastened out of the shop, aghast.

I get myself into these kind of situations very frequently, as all my friends would testify to, especially Tash. I don't know how. Perhaps it is my general awkwardness. The amount of times I have trip, slip and drop things in a day is ridiculous. I like to blame my height, as you might have noticed, I am quite tall for a girl. Not clown tall, but not short either. 

A lot of people say that they are clumsy. But I really am. Particular instances spring to mind, such as in a GCSE chemistry practical last year, I somehow managed to drop a beaker with some sort of dangerous looking chemical in it, and gouge my hand open in several places. Dr Wellington still thinks I'm a complete joke after that. 

Other times that my clumsiness has shone is the countless times I have slipped on completely dry ground and fallen on my backside, once with a hockey stick, flute and games kit clattering to the ground with me amidst the laughter of random people in the street. Definitely a character building experience.

I've finished my can of whipped cream. My pride did not let me give up, seeing as my parents looked at me like I had the IQ of a 4 year old when I told them what I was going to do. I feel proud, and I hope all of you that had ate a whole can of whipped cream (I know you avid followers are out there, somewhere) feel an immense sense of accomplishment. There's something interesting that you can put on your CV when applying to university. It's sure to get you noticed.  You can thank me when you're a high flying politician. 

One last thing; one of my best friends is a fellow blogger, and I would love you to read his blog. He's hysterical, and it would definitely make his day if his blog views rose dramatically. Here's the link; Merry Christmas!

No comments:

Post a Comment